The Role of Coaching
We all pass through uniquely transitional and transformational times in life. Sometimes, these arrive gracefully and naturally. At other times, it’s a subtle sense of stagnation telling us that something needs to shift. Other transitions arrive suddenly and unexpectedly. We might not feel ready for them. We might wish for support. We might not even know what we need.
"All too often, we feel alone in navigating these waters"
As we begin to navigate a transition, we may come to feel like we’re struggling to implement or support our emerging lives. This is where development comes in. By definition, transitions are developmental—there’s a new situation, a new pattern, a new emotional domain, a new context. Moving through this phase requires insight, practice, and patience while setting appropriate, attainable steps to satisfy our needs and goals.
During times of transition, much of what came before feels like it just won’t work. This is perfectly normal—everything has a fruitful season and a dormant season. I will work with you to honor and understand what has come before, identify what is shifting, explore what supports you need, and develop and implement goals in the direction of your growth. This is practical and outward-focused, but it also becomes interior when we begin to work with beliefs, emotions, values, blocks, identities, and reshaping energetic patterns.
I view this as sacred work, because these times beckon us to discern the deeper call in our spirit and begin the next chapter in our lives. I also believe modern society doesn’t sufficiently recognize, appreciate, or support these moments. All too often, we feel alone in navigating these waters.
I am here with you. Let’s work together in partnership to know and be known, to find the right way forward, and to unlock confidence in the next steps of our lives and spirit.
A Coaching Session
A standard coaching session is usually set for 60 minutes, and can be conducted on the phone, via Zoom, or in-person. While each mode has its strengths and weaknesses, most clients prefer a telephone call. In the first ten minutes we may briefly catch up, then set our intention for the session. This can be specific, or it may take some time to understand what you really need and which area of life to focus on. Needs can be individual to the session, or be an ongoing theme that we workshop across multiple sessions.
The bulk of the session is about 40-45 minutes, wherein we will work through your goal with a combination of techniques. The basic toolkit involves asking powerful questions that prompt insight and connection, along with silence and ‘being with’ any realizations, then associating these to the goal for the session. Along the way the coach will be absorbing, clarifying, noticing, making a few notes, and prompting alternative perspectives and framing to see how the client responds. Body language and felt tone may come into play, along with references to past sessions or ways of using language in your own manner of speaking.
The idea is to gain developmental insights, then find ways to extend and apply those in practical ways to your life. Depending where we are in the overall pipeline of the process, we may spend time working through specific upcoming actions in whatever form seems appropriate and attainable. The last 5-10 minutes of the session will involve reflections on what we discovered and learned, specific takeaways we want to remember, plans for any coaching homework, and intentions for the next session as-needed.
The above description is a well-executed, standard session. However, many times the needs may shift, or a new event in life has presented itself since the previous session. The engagement arc matters a lot, whether we’re in discovery, sharing, insight, synthesis, application, extension, action-testing, or stabilizing. All of these may happen briefly during a single session, or cumulatively take place over a longer period such as weeks or months.
Likewise, many other techniques can be used during sessions, such as grounding exercises, Parts work, kinesthetic insights, archetypal exploration, deep-mind energetics, imagination and visualization, reflective storying, values assessments, reframing, and others. We may find a language metaphor that suits your interests, or use some of my favorite constructs such as a gardening metaphor or building a house to extend and develop insight and action.
In the end, we are following the trail of our spirit as it brings insight and actions toward your desired outcome and way of being. We function as partners to this end.
Working Together
For much of my life I was interested in interior space, that of the mind, creativity, and spirit. People naturally opened up to me, feeling an ease to share their inner mind, perhaps sensing an opportunity to reconnect to their deeper selves and to feel known. It was only natural that I earned a degree in psychology. However, I chose not to further pursue that avenue because I didn’t intuitively agree with the modality. Its ‘treat the disease’ notion seemed like something was fundamentally missing. Second, I became intensely interested in spirituality, finding this to be the culminating expression of my ‘look within’ inclination in life, even more so than psychology.
Luckily, years later I discovered ITTC, a school that enabled me to develop my natural counseling inclination and ability while seating it in the more positive, uplifting form of interaction called coaching. Something was re-awakened within me. Not only were tools, methods, and resonant training now available, but my particular educational path allowed and encouraged integration of these techniques along with my spiritual training, placing value in Buddhist teachings, meditation, prayer, and communion with Higher Spirit and self.
“Coaching is about the re-empowerment of the client.“
Nowadays, I am clear that the what and the how of coaching are very much on-point, even evolutionary. I came to understand that coaching is about the re-empowerment of the client, and I saw how this looks, feels, and happens. In so many ways, this type of support—in terms of energy, style, and method—has been missing in life for so many of us, and acts like water to the soul when experienced directly.
Interestingly, the word coach itself is a bit narrow for my preference. Other nouns that fit the role of a coach may be advocate, cheerleader, friend, protector, thinking partner, and accountability partner. Some coaches also include other modalities that suit their interests and abilities, such as healing, shamanism, body work, depth psychology, or priest work. However, it is important to recognize that coaching at its core is about assisting and empowering the client to develop along their life path. Other modalities can be included, but it is not a requirement. Likewise, coaches are not therapists, advisors, or consultants, although they may have certain subject matter expertise. Finally, while it is challenging for me to find the precise name for the role, other qualities such as presence, compassion, understanding, support, structured thinking, accountability, insight, and follow-up can serve to round out the description.
When we discover what it means to thrive, and how to support others to find their own vision, voice, power, and peace, there is no greater service. This is what I find coaching can offer. It doesn’t mean the transformative path is always smooth, but the framework and methods are here for our growth and fulfillment. They can take us as far as we want to go.
